I was looking at the old phone I used this time last year and I pulled up the text messages that were still sitting in the memory and the realization hit me that this very time last year was the last time life was normal. There was a text on Sunday night from Katie saying that she didn't much accomplished because she was feeling so sick. Tomorrow would be her doctors appointment that snowballed into the discovery. I remember how sick she was but how we just thought it was pregnancy or gall stones or something far less serious. It's amazing how one day can change your life forever. How your hopes, dreams and goals can be completely smashed.
The weather has changed. The nights are very cool and Fall is in the air. I love this time of year. In fact, it was both mine and Katie's favorite time of the year and we used to love to go outside and smell the air and hold hands while walking Logan. I knew that this was going to be a difficult time, but it seemed so far off. Now it is here and every day will be a new reminder. So I have a feeling that my blog will be a way to record my memories. It will be good to remember, but so very difficult as well. I miss her so much right now. I miss seeing her with the windows open and a blanket around her waist while sitting in the chair working on sweepstakes entries. She would be wearing her old lady glasses, the TV would be on, Logan would be curled up around her and Kaiser would be nearby. I miss seeing her look up as I walked through the door and watching her face light up and ask how my day was or she'd start telling me about whatever she had been waiting to talk about. This sucks!