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Saturday, March 17, 2007

St. Patty's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone! I had decided to battle my outrageous gas bills by turning off the heat completely and being that the weather was in the 60s and 70s last week, I felt like it was a safe bet. But today, Fate is laughing at me as I am bundled in 3 layers sitting in my home. I refuse to wear a coat in my home, but I also refuse to pay $400+ again for heat. Dilemma?! Maybe the layer of ice on everything will help insulate the apartment better than whatever is supposed to be insulating it!

I've gone through Katie's saved Favorites folder on the computer. Well, everything except the one that was labeled Cancer and Pregnant. It's nice to see her "fingerprints" on things and she saved everything on the computer which is so different from physical things which she loved to throw out. I am planning at some point to grow through her saved files on her email. She's had the email address for years so it might take some time. I also pulled out some of her photo albums that I'm going to look through later. Probably not the best idea but I'm a glutton!

St. Patrick's day was such a fun tradition for us. We always gave each other gifts and did something. Usually found some place with green beer. We did something every year except the year we found the melanoma. She was still recuperating from the surgery and waiting for the results such a fun time but we still enjoyed the day. In fact, we always enjoyed every day whether we escaped to the beach or country, went to dinner or just sat around the house watching the TV or each other. I miss enjoying things. I've done some things with friends but as far as actually enjoying anything, I haven't. I can't figure out how to enjoy. I can have fun. I can laugh. But it all feels hollow. Life feels hollow. I guess it will change. Who knows?!

I'm attaching a picture of Katie at Cat's Meow with the manager. It was our first time in New Orleans and it was St. Patrick's day. Our first one together. Good times.


Brenda said...

Happy St. Patty's Day to you from Tally town--hope you are so busy tonight the time just flys by and you come home and get a good nights sleep with wonderful dreams of past St. Patty's Day's with Katie! xoxo Brenda

jessica bratton said...

Hello, I found your site on the Jennifer Ireland blog. I live here in Kansas City. I will begin praying for your daily happiness as well as the husband of Jennifer Ireland. I do not personally know you, but I could not imaginge going through this. You are 2 truly amazing men. I hope you find happiness sooner than later. If you don't mind me asking a question?? I noticed you said Katie had a pregnant with cancer email. Was she pregnant or was she trying to get pregnant. It is completly none of my business but I am just trying to piece your story together. Thank you for your time and hope you have a good day!!


Through the worst tragedy I could never imagine, my life has become what it has become. Through this blog, I will continue to tell my story. Some days are good and many are not, but those are the cards I've been delt and I will continue to play my hand until the Lord makes me fold. Also, I hope that you will learn more about Pancreatic cancer and help bring light to this horrible disease so that other victims will be given more time to enjoy life than my precious wife had. Happy reading.